Guest post by Karina Seng, Founder of Work Besties Club. Originally published at https://karinaseng.substack.com/p/you-cant-ask-that
Last month I sat on the Future Female Leaders You Can’t Ask That panel. It was raw, honest, and unfiltered… the kind of topics a lot of people find uncomfortable.
I’ve written before about how nervous I get before big moments, and this was no different. My heart raced, my appetite disappeared, and nothing distracted me long enough to convince my nervous system to relax. And because I’d never done a panel like this – sharing personal experience rather than expertise – the anticipation felt even bigger.
Even with all of that happening internally, I still wanted to be part of this conversation. Because these topics matter, and I didn’t want to sit on the sidelines of something I care deeply about.
As soon as I stepped on stage, a calmness set in: the catastrophising stopped and I felt grounded and present. Seeing the faces in the room engage – really engage – in the conversation pulled me into the moment and showed me that my perspective carried weight. I felt a sense of belonging up there, and a deeper appreciation of how our lived experiences shape conversations in meaningful ways.
Why we need all voices in the room
One of the things I valued most about the panel was having men and women sitting together talking about topics that often get boxed in as “women’s issues.” Identity, bias, tokenism, vulnerability, power dynamics – these aren’t just women’s issues. They’re leadership issues. Human issues. Cultural issues. And it’s powerful to talk about them together.
We don’t live or work in gendered silos. Our influence and impact come from the people around us…all of them. Women can talk about these things forever, but without other voices standing alongside us, we won’t move as far or as fast as we need to. Hearing my fellow panellists Henry and Sheldon share their experiences and reflections made the conversation fuller and more honest, and it reinforces that progress happens when we’re willing to learn from each other instead of trying to solve things separately.
Leadership behaviours that actually make a difference
Reflecting on the questions we were asked, it might have surprised the audience that our insights and advice were universal even though we have different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. It wasn’t “tips for women” or “tips for men” – it was simply what good leadership looks like:
- Being curious enough to ask questions instead of assuming.
- Being willing to pause and interrogate your reactions, and noticing whether your response is about the other person, the situation or idea, or whether it’s actually about you.
- Being open to changing your mind.
- Supporting people by advocating for them, connecting them to opportunities, and speaking their name in rooms they’re not in.
- Creating space for people to show up honestly instead of expecting them to leave parts of themselves at the door.
These aren’t dramatic actions; they’re small, consistent leadership behaviours that shift how people feel in workplaces. They help curb bias, soften defensiveness, and make it safer for people to contribute.
Importantly, these actions don’t require a job title – you can lead from any seat if you’re willing to do the reflective work.
A Note to Self (and to you)
A month on, the event still feels like yesterday and is etched in my memory as a proof point that I can do it. That my voice contributes to these conversations, and that I’m not “just a girl with some strong opinions,” but someone who has earned her place in them.
And maybe that’s the reminder we all need. You don’t have to feel fully ready to make an impact. You don’t need to have all the answers or be the polished spokesperson. You just need to be willing – and curious – to listen, reflect, to learn and unlearn, and to take small steps that, over time, shift culture.
Leadership for me is about action, reflection, courage, and community. And sometimes, it’s simply about having the courage to give something a go…because what’s the worst that can happen?!
Empowering the next generation
Future Female Leaders has a bold mission to impact 10,000 girls in WA by 2030. I care deeply about this work because you can’t be what you can’t see. Giving girls access to leadership, confidence, community and support at such a pivotal age builds skills and self-belief that stay with them for life. Year 11 is a defining stage, and the right influence at the right time can genuinely change how they see themselves and what they believe is possible.
Let’s connect!
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